Follow the yellow brick road: DBT skill - “one mindfully”
Image shows yellow things found on a walk practising "one mindfully" - little library, yellow street art, faded bag, sunflower and garden plants
Content Warning: this piece touches on contracting covid and pneumonia and lived experience of PMDD.
*
*
*
Hey Toto, I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore…
Hello, it’s been very quiet here hasn’t it? I’ve not been able to write as much as I hoped this year. I’ve got to be honest, recently life has been feeling like I’m in a small wooden house being thrown about by a tornado. chased by a wicked witch. I have to admit there have been times where I wished I could click my heels together and escape, just like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Difficult times can get to us like that, can’t they? In April I contracted pneumonia after having Covid in January. That was scary. Although I live with chronic conditions, I had got used to feeling quite well. It has taken time to get back to some sort of familiar routine and to regain energy. At times I’ve struggled with having to accept that recovery isn’t linear, adjusting my expectations of myself, and needing to miss out on things. I also have a dog who lives life like the front gate has been left open - Fergal is one of life’s enthusiasts and loves a walk. It’s been tricky to enjoy walks as he’s pulled me into hedges and wanted to go further, when I’ve really wanted to go back to bed.
Living through six months of tests and uncertainty has definitely left its mark. As I began our walk on Saturday, I felt like I was under a cloud of doom, just waiting for flying monkeys to appear on the horizon. They came as my thoughts - I could already see a future where I was covered in mud, exhausted, and miles from home with a dog going wild. I realised my brain was getting into really tricky “what ifs” and loops of worst case scenarios. If I was going to enjoy my day, this definitely called for some skills practice…
Walking the Walk: One Mindfully
This skill means trying to do just one thing, non-judgementally and effectively.
It’s about making the decision to only do one thing at a time, in the here and now. So, I decided that as I was walking - I would walk. I wouldn’t worry about any of the big things my mind was presenting - just walk for twenty minutes and practice observing thoughts and feelings that come up, rather than judging them. I would tune in to how Fergie experienced the walk, and just notice. Sometimes it can also be helpful to check expectations - whilst One Mindfully’s not going to change the world, it might help me cope better in the moment.
How can One Mindfully help?
By selecting something more neutral or positive to focus on, we can begin to bring down the amount of threat based thoughts and emotional intensity in the moment. This doesn’t downplay or take away the difficulties we are facing (which can be very real), but it sends signals to our brain to reassess the level of threat. By focusing on Ferg, I was able to take the focus off my worries and find a new joy. A cat? Brilliant! A Greggs wrapper - amazing! There might be a bonus sausage roll in that bush! Nearly home? Brilliant! Snacks are there!
For me, One Mindfully also helped me tune into thoughts, feelings, and sensations in a curious and compassionate way. For instance, tuning in beyond worries, I noticed my left knee hurt and this allowed me to slow things down and have a little rest, rather than pushing through. Noticing and slowing down physically reminded me to check in on where I might be trying to “push through” emotionally, rather than slowing down and engaging effectively with my concerns. I am still recovering. It’s ok to find this tricky.
Ideas for adapting One Mindfully for busy brains
If you’re someone who tends to think deeply or widely, One Mindfully can be a brilliant but tricky skill to practice - put quite simply, some of us find it harder to focus in on one thing. This is definitely the case for me! As someone with lived experience of PMDD, there can be times in the month where my mind is much busier and particular thought loops can get noisier. In this situation, I have learned it can help to give my brain something “extra” to focus on and let it think, rather than trying to get it to be quiet.
Some of the things which may support your “one mindfully” practice:
count your steps or breaths (the bilateral movement of walking or running can also be very soothing)
Be more dog! Have you ever gone on a walk with a dog? Have you noticed how they delight in noticing details we miss? Just don’t eat anything you find on the walk. Health and safety first and always.
Choose something to focus on spotting. I chose the colour yellow on Saturday and took photos - you can see some of the things I saw above. Every time my brain wanted to go back to the loops, I reminded it of the yellow quest.
Start small and make it a game - challenge yourself to be one mindful during one section of your walk - choose an alley, pathway, or road and practice for a short amount of time.
Practice when things are not feeling too tricky and build your confidence to deploy this in other situations.
How will you know if this helps you?
We are all different. Some skills will be helpful, and others won’t be, which is why I always recommend treating skills practice as an experiment.
If this skill works for you, some of the things you might notice getting easier are:
being more present and less caught up in your thoughts
more space to do what matters to you
A sense of slowing down
Noticing other sensations or emotions
more awareness of what’s going on in your body - are you breathing too fast or slower than usual? Does anything hurt? Do you need a drink, something to eat or a rest?
more curiosity and engagement with the here and now
If you’re feeling a bit like Dorothy and your house is spinning in a tornado, I hope One Mindfully can help, even if the flying monkey thoughts keep circling.
Go Gently,
Vicky
